Danny Wallace

Can you imagine a world with no screens? Don't miss the hilarious new 'what-if' adventure from bestselling author, comedian, and presenter Danny Wallace, with illustrations throughout from Gemma Correll.

When ten-year-old Stella wakes up to discover a world full of BLANK screens, her family, town, and in fact the whole world seems to have been thrown into chaos. And what about poor Grandma who is stranded at the other end of the country?

Cue a rollicking madcap road trip, full of driving disasters and family fallouts, as they set off on a rescue mission. And along the way Stella and her family discover that being away from screens might not be the WORST THING EVER, and even though they might not be able to rely on technology anymore, they can rely on each other instead.

'So funny' Noel Fielding
'Brilliantly funny' Shappi Khorsandi
'Hilarious' Tim Minchin
'Warm and funny' Frank Cottrell-Boyce

Get ready for another hilarious adventure from bestselling author Danny Wallace brought to life with illustrations from Jamie Littler, perfect for fans of David Walliams, Roald Dahl, David Baddiel and David Solomons!

Beware the Babies ... they CRY ... they POO ... they ATTACK!

Hamish and the PDF have been left in charge of Starkley while his dad and the rest of the Belasko agents are off hunting down the universe's second-most dangerous villain - Axel Scarmarsh!
But nothing bad will happen while he's gone, right? WRONG!

Suddenly the babies of Starkley are on the rampage and causing chaos - but only Hamish and his friends seem to be worried about the odd behaviour.

What’s behind the baby uprising and can the mini mutiny be stopped before EVERY BABY ON EARTH rises up?!

This may look like just a completely and utterly ordinary book. But it’s not. This book knows something terrifying: that the people of Earth face their gravest, grimmest threat yet!

When Hamish finds his mum and his brother floating ON THE CEILING, he knows there’s something seriously wrong (again) in the town of Starkley. What is the strange burping noise he keeps hearing? Why are weird seeds suddenly falling from the sky? And should he be worried about the odd woman with a cone around her neck?

All Hamish and his gang the PDF can be sure of is that an adventure is coming. And that means two things:
1. You have to be prepared
2. You have to prepare a sandwich

Nobody knows it yet, but the people of Earth are in big, big trouble. Like - HUGE trouble. Oh, come on, where's your imagination? Double what you're thinking! And it's all got to do with a shadowy figure, an enormous tower, some sinister monsters, huge clanking and thundering metal oddballs, and people who are just like you...but not like you at all. Luckily Hamish and the PDF are around to help save the day! Aren't they??

A hilarious original Christmas short story from the wonderful Danny Wallace!
Have yourself and TERRIBLE little Christmas! Hamish and his friends are back in this very special story. The Terribles are out to ruin Christmas for everyone in Starkley, can the PDF stop them??

Hamish and the WorldStoppers is the hilarious children's debut from presenter and bestselling adult author, Danny Wallace! Perfect for fans of David Walliams, Tom Gates and James Patterson. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!' Frank Cottrell Boyce 'Poor Danny Wallace! Once kids get their hands on this quirky and hilarious book, they're gonna be bugging him to write Hamish stories 'til he's 97' Tim Minchin What would YOU do...if the whole world just stopped? Yes the WHOLE WORLD. Birds in the air. Planes in the sky. And every single person on the planet - except you! Because that's what keeps happening to ten-year-old Hamish Ellerby. And it's being caused by The WorldStoppers and their terrifying friends The Terribles! They have a PLAN! They want to take our world for their own ...Oh, and they hate children. Especially if you're a child who knows about them. Hang on - You know now, don't you? Oh dear. Can Hamish save us from the WorldStoppers? Only time will tell!

We join the action just as our 'hero' Tom, (early thirties, reads the 'news' on the radio) finds out that his girlfriend has NOT left him.

Tom,

I have not left you. But I am gone.

Please carry on as normal.

Love always,

Hayley

Has Hayley gone or hasn't she? Is she coming back? If she has gone, but is coming back, when is she coming back? And what is he supposed to bloody do in the meantime?

And what if she's never coming back??

Trying to work out what's happening to his confusing life, Tom tries to track Hayley down. In doing so, he stumbles across a strange and eccentric group of people with an irregular and highly-addictive hobby.

Next, he's being followed, but he's not sure by whom. And then he also almost loses his job at the radio station in the now infamous 'Jam Nazi' episode, which of course, you know about.

Above all, Tom is trying to work out who everyone is.

Because who is Hayley? Who is this new girl following him around the supermarket?

And who, for that matter, is TOM DITTO?

It all starts with a girl.

(because yes, there's always a girl.)

Jason Priestley (not that one) has just seen her. They shared an incredible, brief, fleeting moment of deep possibility, somewhere halfway down Charlotte Street.

And then, just like that, she was gone - accidentally leaving him holding her old-fashioned, disposable camera, chock full of undeveloped photos...

And now Jason - ex-teacher, ex-boyfriend, part-time writer and reluctant hero - faces a dilemma. Should he try and track The Girl down? What if she's The One? But that would mean using the only clues he has, which lie untouched in this tatty disposable...

It's funny how things can develop...

Passive aggression. Road rage. Snarky tweets. Queue-jumpers. Idiots who are #justsaying. Fat shamers. Victim blaming. Furious waitresses who refuse to sell you a hot dog… We are ruder than we’ve ever been.

In this incisive and very funny book, Danny Wallace investigates the new wave of rudeness that threatens to overwhelm us. He travels the world, visiting our rudest critics, interviewing psychologists, psychiatrists, bell boys, cab drivers, bin men, barristers, politicians, a limo driver called José and at least one expert in cooked meat production. In doing so he uncovers the hidden truths behind what makes us rude, whether it can be caught, and how one small moment of rudeness―like being declined a hotdog―can snowball into disaster.

From the jihadist who launched a blistering attack on the “bad manners” of his fellow ISIS militants, to the mayor in Bogota who recruited an army of mimes to highlight inconsiderate driving―this is a very funny and powerful exploration into the way humans work and why it is surely time for an anti-rudeness revolution.

A husband and now a new father, Danny Wallace is a man who struggles to understand the unspoken rules of society...

For example, when do you hug? And when do you NOT hug?

How do you react when you realise that yesterday's underpants might still be in your trousers?

What do you do if you think you might have a man-crush?

And what happens when you think you may have accidentally ordered your wife a prostitute for her birthday?

Following the bestselling Awkward Situations for Man and based on his incredibly popular columns, Danny Wallace entertains us with more stories from his often embarrassing and bewildering life.

No one said it was easy being a man. And Danny is finding it harder than ever.

DANNY WALLACE IS A MAN.

And a man is a very tricky thing to be these days.

Trouble is everywhere. Embarrassment follows closely behind.

Whether accidentally insulting a friend's baby, being caught wearing pyjamas by his wife, or nadvertently following a woman down a very dark street, Danny is no stranger to awkward situations.

As we follow a year in Danny's life in which he blunders from one bewildering social situation to the next, it becomes clear that here is a man who struggles even to look after himself properly. And then an even greater responsibility looms on the horizon...

Danny Wallace is about to turn thirty. Recently married and living in a smart new area of town, he's swapped pints down the pub for lattes and brunch. For the first time in his life, he's feeling, well ... grown-up.

But something's missing. Something he can't quite put his finger on. Until he finds an old address book, containing just twelve names. The names of his best mates as a kid. Where are they now? Who are they now? And how are they coping with being grown-up too?

And so begins an epic journey -- from Berlin to Tokyo, Los Angeles to Loughborough -- as Danny sets out to find and meet the old gang. He meets Fijian chiefs. German rappers. And a carvery manager who's managed to solve time travel. But how will they react to a long-lost friend turning up out of the blue to see if they're coming out to play? Can you be friends forever?

Danny thinks he knows ... because he's got Friends Like These

Danny Wallace wanted to write about a place so special and so crucial to our existence that it had never before been tackled: the Centre of the Universe. But then he realised that getting there might be a problem, and when he did, there'd probably be nothing much to write about. Until he heard about a manhole cover, on a small street, in a small town, tucked away in a remote part of Idaho.

The manhole cover had been declared the Centre of the Universe. The mayor had the science to back it up. The town rejoiced.

And the name of the town?

Wallace.

It was a cosmic coincidence Danny couldn't resist...

'I, Danny Wallace, being of sound mind and body, do hereby write this manifesto for my life. I swear I will be more open to opportunity. I swear I will live my life taking every available chance. I will say Yes to every favour, request, suggestion and invitation. I WILL SWEAR TO SAY YES WHERE ONCE I WOULD SAY NO.'

Danny Wallace had been staying in. Far too much. Having been dumped by his girlfriend, he really wasn't doing the young, free and single thing very well. Instead he was avoiding people. Texting them instead of calling them. Calling them instead of meeting them. That is until one fateful date when a mystery man on a late-night bus told him to 'say yes more'. These three simple words changed Danny's life forever. Yes Man is the story of what happened when Danny decided to say YES to everything, in order to make his life more interesting. And boy, did it get more interesting.

In his bestselling book Join Me, Danny Wallace instructs his legions of followers to perform a 'Random Act of Kindness' every Friday. As a result, his thousands of followers (dubbed the Karma Army), without warning, made people happier the length and breadth of the country. Now in Random Acts of Kindness Danny and the gang bring you a hilarious, inspirational book to encourage you to perform Random Acts of your own.

'Now, at last, the secret to a happier world! You have the power to make it a nicer place! All over the planet, thousands of people just like you are performing Random Acts of Kindness for complete strangers- Buy an old lady a hat! Give a policeman a helium balloon! Pat a dog! Hand a stranger your umbrella! Applaud a lady who's clearly made an effort! This book contains 365 real Random Acts of Kindness real people have done for real strangers- so read it, learn it, and start making your world the nicer place, today!'

How could you refuse the polite invitation of begoggled Danny Wallace in Join Me? You don't know what you could be missing out on. It's all about living for the moment in this quirky, seemingly pointless yet addictive narrative. Finding himself with too much time on his hands after quitting his BBC job, Danny revels in "sitting around in his pants" and generally taking a break from the responsibilities of working life. Danny attends the funeral of his great uncle Gallus and finds out that he had set up a commune of like-minded people to escape Swiss small town small-mindedness in the 1940s. Intrigued by this idea, on his return to London Danny places a cryptic advert in the classified ads paper Loot and gets some surprising results.

His Norwegian radio-producer girlfriend Hanne is bemused and infuriated that this has become more than a transient interest; it takes over his life--and hers. The number of "joinees"--people replying to his ad--escalates as word gets out about this new "happy cult", but without a clue about what he wants to achieve, or do with all his newfound friends, Danny has to think fast as dissent rises in the ranks. Now the reluctant leader of a troop of random hopefuls, he maintains their interest with obscure e-mails and watches as his joinees meet and bond.

Whatever he had created, it was bigger than he had anticipated. From an initially puerile idea, it had grown into something of a social experiment--why were people willing to take the risk? What was lacking in their lives that they thought they might get out of contacting a stranger? Taking risks, no matter how big or small, is the essential crux of the matter here and of course, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

After a heavy night of tequila, flatmates Dave and Danny set off on what turns out to be a 24,000-mile journey to meet all the other Dave Gormans in the world. They visit Scotland, Israel, America, France and Ireland. They even hold a party in London where 50 Dave Gormans attend, including two women who have kindly changed their name via deed-poll. Silly, but engrossing, fascinating and addictive - and a touching, funny story of two friends who grow to share a mutual obsession.